Naomi persisted for her daughters-in-law to return home, as she wept, “The Lord himself has caused me to suffer.” Can you hear the agony in Naomi’s voice? Because of her hardships, she felt as though God had abandoned her.
Have you ever felt this way before? I have gone through bitter trials that caused me much despair. I was so angry that I stopped reading my Bible. I went to church, but my heart wasn’t in it. Every time I would attempt to utter a prayer to God, my throat hurt so much from crying that it was only a faint whisper. Several nights I would awaken because my thoughts and worries would not allow me to rest. To be honest, I thought it impossible to love God again. Where was He? Could He not see that I was hurting?
I could relate to the psalmist when he said the words, “I have wandered away like a lost sheep; come and find me, for I have not forgotten your commands” (Psalms 119: 176). My fears, hurts, and emotions would not allow me to come to God with a pure heart. There was so much bitterness, anger, and judgment in my soul.
Once while in the shower, I began to be honest and tell God my feelings. I cried, “I don’t like you—I hate reading my Bible, and church is boring; all I do is sleep.” I wept, “But Lord, I am miserable without you; I feel empty because I remember how I used to love you, and my heart wants to love you. Please help me not to feel this way. Lord, restore unto me the joy of your salvation.”
I felt much better after I was honest enough to say how I really felt because God already knew the truth. In Psalms 51: 10–11, David cries for the Lord to have mercy upon him. “Create in me a clean heart, O God. Renew a loyal spirit within me. Do not banish me from your presence, and don’t take your Holy Spirit from me.” God in His sovereign mercy had compassion for me.
The next day, I was completely astounded. We were having Fall Revival at the college I attended. Evangelist Marilyn Hickey was the guest speaker, and she said, “God has a way of getting to you, even if it’s in the shower.” God has a special message for all of us to let us know He still loves and cares about us.
This is a chapter excerpt from “Launch Out Into The Deep!” By Acacia and Aaron Slaton
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