I recall being in college and finding myself attracted to a guy who was a waiter at a local Italian restaurant. I was with a group of my friends and he was our waiter. I’m not sure if he was having a bad day and needed to vent or he felt at ease sharing.
He embarrassingly shared, “Yeah, I went through four years of college just to become a waiter.”
I empathetically replied, “Be patient with yourself and don’t despise small beginnings.”
It was as if in an instant his expression changed from melancholy to hopeful.
He gratefully replied, “I never saw it that way; thanks for your insight; I really needed to hear that.”
I became his favorite customer the remainder of the night and my friends joked around, “He has his eyes on you; girl, he is handsome!”
When it comes to the initial stage of dating I’m reserved, not shy. I feel I should be pursued and not the one doing the pursuing. Well, this night I felt different and regretted I didn’t flirt back or leave a number. I let one of my friends in on my feelings and she confidently advised,
“Acacia, life is too short for you to sit and wonder, ‘What if?’ Life is stressful enough and the last thing I need is to rattle my brain on whether or not a guy likes me. So I simply ask a guy if he likes me or not. Of course an unfavorable response hurts but at least I know where I stand and can set my interest elsewhere. Acacia, don’t allow your love life to take charge over you; you take charge over it!”
At the moment, I thought her words were wise and shared her advice with many hopeless romantics. I know better now! Although liberating it causes one to seek love independently of God. Love is patient and shouldn’t be rushed. Besides, God created men to be leaders and pursuers. So if he’s not pursuing you, he’s not interested. If he’s allowing you to pursue him it’s because he likes the attention and the feeling of being wanted. Ladies, please be aware this is momentary and he’ll one day despise you and feel you forced his hand. Over and beyond, would you feel good knowing you were the one who chose him; he didn’t choose you.
As I wrote this last statement a part of this scripture came up: “You didn’t choose me; I chose you!” (John 15:16, NLT) Hallelujah, we serve a God who pursues and has chosen us as His own!
“Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God” (Hebrews 12:2)
Likewise ladies, man was made in the image of God so He will pursue you. Biblically, he is supposed to lay his life down for you as Christ did for the church (Ephesians 5:25). It’s his joy to pursue you and make you his wife. There’s an excitement to make you his own. He’ll do anything for you girl; he wants to bless you! His joy is your joy; you light up his world. He has forsaken all others and has chosen you!
Your past relationships may have left you feeling worthless with the belief you’re unlovable and have nothing to give. I’ve felt this way too many times to count. Allow God to restore you and bring wholeness in your life. There’s some guy who needs you, wants you and will pursue you and will not be ashamed to call you his own.
“Wait patiently for the LORD. Be brave and courageous. Yes, wait patiently for the LORD” (Psalm 27:14).